I recently purchased a fish.
We chose little DeathRow for a number of reasons. He is black and gold (which is badass), he is small enough for a five gallon tank, and, as a Black Moor Fish, he is hearty.
Allegedly.
But since we purchased our little bundle of joy, he’s been exhibiting a number of odd behaviors. Our fish spends the majority of his day lying upside down beneath a large rock on the aquarium’s floor. When he does swim, he is fast and agile but, again, upside down. We’re certain he isn’t dead because he occasionally rights himself to swim a few flicks or nibble on a flake of food. Also, he changes colors periodically, which strikes me as a challenging feat for a dead thing.
So, I’ve been spending a fair amount of energy trying to figure out what’s wrong with this fish. Ammonia poisoning? pH imbalance? Swim Bladder Disease? Constipation? Boredom? Fear?
Or maybe little DeathRow is just a dreamer. Maybe he’s gifted. Maybe he imagines possibilities beyond the barriers of his cylindrical boundaries. Maybe our fish gazes out at us through the half-inch glass as we lie on the plush couch, backs down, drinking beer, watching Tosh.0, and maybe little DeathRow dreams of being human.
Maybe he’ll go belly up to the surface tomorrow morning. Hard to tell. Gifted as he may be, he’s not a great communicator.
[A sad addendum: Turns out DeathRow was not a dreamer. He was mortally ill. RIP, little man, we did our best and we loved you muchly.]
